I can’t wait to get married.

Because I’m so in love. I can’t imagine a life without him.

A part of me always assumes nothing bad can happen after you get married; something I’ve carried since I was a kid.

But then I remember, that marriage doesn’t stop cheating; leaving.

It’s a piece of paper and a title, a last name change.

A promise, that most tend to break.

And I remember these things, and then I’m scared again.

I’m scared of always being scared.

Scared of never being certain.

Scared of never having complete, and utter reassurance that nothing bad will never happen.

Which I guess nobody really had.

But I need it.

Desperately.

Listening to music and singing (loudly) helps me so much when I’m feeling upset

But

3 days a week, I can’t do it. And so I have nothing to help. No outlet. No freedom from the pain.

It drives me crazy, and drags me down.

It hurts.

My heart is in a weird and scary place.

The happiness, the comfortability.. It’s getting to me.

It’s eating me alive.

I’ve never been good enough. Something bad always happens.

Every. Single. Time.

I remember it all.

It’s about to be 4 years, and we’ve had our share of bad. But who’s to say that’s over?

What if I’m just supposed to be alone? What is this happiness all turns out for nothing?

What a waste.

Undeserving. Stupid. Foolish.

I don’t know what to believe. How to feel.

My heart breaks.

Haven’t been on here in a long ass time.

But hi guys.

death-by-lulz:

leaving your room when people are over

(via the-absolute-best-gifs)

inappropriate-affect:

ask-an-mra-anything:

gibelotte:

acceptable ways to trigger tag your posts

• #trigger
• #trigger ///
• #trigger —-
• #trigger 13434256245 (or any string of numbers)
• #trigger cw
• #trigger tw
• #trigger for ts

NOT acceptable ways to trigger tag your posts

• #tw trigger
• #cw trigger
• #~*~trigger~*~
• not tagging it at all
• #tw

blacklist scripts like blacklist on xkit and tumblr savior look for the word only in the first word when its a tag !!! please tag your triggers the right way and help your friends !!!!!!

bless this post I had no idea

Tumblr mobile only takes the exact word as a tag, so please use the exact word and only the word as at least one trigger tag!

(via cryptic-prey)

elegantly-awqward:

Velaris Aesthetic

Calm water, gentle symphonies, laughter, chatter of happy customers, hot mulled wine, the smell of food wafting from cafes, Gentle breezes, paint on a canvas, Huge archways, hanging lanterns, colorful shop windows, the reflection of stars on water.

(via queen-of-lightning-and-fire)